Tuesday, October 21, 2014

क्षण-२ !!

"कस्तो हुदो हो जब तिमीले आफुले नगरेको गल्तिको सजाय भोग्नु पर्ने हुन्छ । तिमिले केहि गरेको नि हुदैनौ, न केहि भन्नलाइ नै हुन्छ तिमि सङ कहिले पनि। तर जहिले कुसुरवार सरि तिमीलाई नै ठड्याइञ्छ," उनीले भनिन् आफु सँग नै।

आफु सँग बोल्ने  बानि नै भैसकेको  थियो उन्को अचेल।  तेही लवजमा अरुले जो बुझ्दैन थिए उन्ले भनेको कुरोहरु। अनि उनि नि कसैलाई बुझाउन नसक्ने भई कि थिइन अचेल । उनिलाई जहिले नया नया कुरो गरी रहन पर्ने । कति तेही कुरो भनि रहनु जस्तो लाग्न थालेको थियो उनिलाई । एकै ठाउमा बसी रहनु, एकै कुरो गरी रहनुले विकासक्रम बाधिएको जस्तो लाग्थ्यो उनिलाई।  

जहिले चरी सरि उड्न, नयाँ आकाश चाहार्न चाहन्थिन उनि । उडान कसैले रोकी देला? पन्ख कसैले काटी देला ?भन्ने डर चाही जहिले रहन्थ्यो फेरी उनिलाई । आफ्नो वरि-परिको परिवेश बारे के नै भन्न सकिन्थ्यो र उसै पनि?

कुन दिन कुनै बाजले फड्को हानि आउछ र अनन्त आकाशलाई नै सानो बनाइ दिन्छ भन्ने बडो डर छ उनिलाई ।  तेही डरले होला शायद, उनको आखा बडो बोल्न थालेको छ अचेल।  केहि डर नभनिए नि आखामा जो देखिन्छन। तर ति सादा डराएका आखा कुनै रुपमा नि राम्रो देखिदैन भनेर बुझाउन सक्ने क्षमता उनि आफु संग नि  रहेको छैन अचेल। सोच्दा-सोच्दै आखा पत्थर सरि सुन्न प्राय हुन जान्छन अनि थकित भएर सुत्छिन उनि।

इति !
पहिलो: क्षण !!
चित्र: डेविअण्ट आर्ट बाट !

Stone !

"Stones are worshiped as idols", it said.

"Sad to know you are a "stone". You will just be worshiped now," I smiled.

Metta !!

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Tits-bits-of life--They continued the story !

Preeya knew I was up for trekking again and she would not be in touch with me for long. May be that was the reason, I witnessed 30 missed calls from her in my phone again. So she was trying hard to talk to me a thought flew over my mind.

I called her back and as soon as she picked up the phone she could not stop herself and started without any formality,"at every point I feel like writing. Writing always gives me solace. There are always as many ideas as could be flying by in my mind that need to rest. I have this weird feeling of being heard always...I always have so many says to say to peoples and I am always filled with ideas. Ahh ! Suman what do I do?"

"Hmm," I said (this was our usual way of listening).

"Sometimes I feel, would I just end up in this wall of writes or sayings? Or will my ideas, my thoughts land up as somewhere concrete?" she quivered. 

I was listening to her quietly while she was speaking in her usual tone.

"Having a bunch of ideas is always a tough thing and I always have been going through this. Life's tough Suman," she added with a long sigh.

I could not help smiling. And she knew that I could exactly depict her feels.

"You know what Preeya every single individual thrives for their individuality, stands to be something different from the other," I started slowly.

"Do you know the word 'sonder'?," I inquired.

"No, what is it?," was her prompt response.

"It is a sudden realization that everyone we see/meet has as complicated and interesting life as ours. So, how much do we really think about other people? Do we have time to do that? Similarly, what makes us think that others have time to think about us and if they really do, how boring and dull their life really is," I replied in a casual tone.

"Hmm....That's interesting," was what she could say.

I was on with the flow,"Also, I have realized that time actually travels so much faster when you live in a different society. Trying to work, finding a place to live/rent, communicating with different people everyday makes our lives so filled with tiny details that we have maneuver our ways through that we think everyday routines are petty."

"But on the other hand, people who have lived in the same place for decades, donot have to interact with different personalities on a daily basis hold on to the same old thoughts. So, usually people who have lived a very stagnant life tend to be more judgmental than the ones on the move."

"So, if you are looking for friendship that you think is neutral and supportive, find people who are always on the move, and who enjoy that kind of adventure. Just saying that if you seek some kind of openness and a good healthy relationship/friendship, careful that you dont seek it from people who have nothing else to do all day rather than edit and post their selfies on facebook. If you find more "interesting" friends, your obsession over one person that you think is so wise and cool will subside because you will know so many people that are wise, smart, generous and cool."

"I am up making friends Suman," Preeya said.

"I dont think you are up making friends- just saying that if you dont have a few friends that you can actually "talk to" and think wont judge you, then maybe you are not making "good friends", or in the right context. No one ever meets people who can fulfill all your needs- emotional, physical, mental, sexual... but lets say someone can meet your emotional needs, but not your mental- they can at least be supportive of your needs."

We were scratching thoughts as much as possible. We both were struggling with the ideas and I just tried to let her flee her thoughts with my says. I felt she could subside some of her thoughts, but still it was a long run. Life as it is.

I called upon her, but may be she had already slept. I could hear her snoring. The burgeoning thoughts might have made her tired, I smiled and let the phone cut off. 

We always have tonnes of thoughts-one residing over the other
Metta !
Image courtesy: @deviantart

Tale of the two worlds-II

As soon as she woke up that morning the first thing that came in her mind was him. He, who was her best of friends-yet he, whom she had not heard from ages. She had to go for her routinized morning run but she couldn't help talking out to him before getting on to the daily chores.

She logged into her PC and saw him online. She expected him to call her so waited for sometime. But after his silence for a longer time, she knocked him against the screen which always kept them apart yet always kept them in touch. 

The talk started with casual hi's and hello's and they reached talking about tennis where Federer had recently won a match. Federer was their favorite. After talking for sometime the unusual silence came in between them again. She started feeling uncomfortable and thought of some topics to speak to. 

"What if I write about our story?" she said in a soft sparkling voice

"There's no story of ours for heaven's sake," his voice was suddenly agitated.

"My feels carry the story, be you not bother about it. I will write our story," her voice swayed away. 

There was no response from him. Recently this was the best way he did answer me with, unlike other days where he used to speak so much. He did not speak a word more. Silence creeped in as the fog of the cold winter morning which was awaiting for her outside.

"I move off. Good day," she typed on the screen and walked away. Walked away into the early morning hues to get better and feel better for the rest of her coming life.

Metta !!
So here I start a new series of the story "Tale of the two worlds" after my first take in "Tale of the two worlds"
Image courtesy: Popoks @deviantart

Expectations !

Sometimes I,
don't have words
And then I
end wordless
And if I,
end wordless
Won't you be,
my world of words

Sometimes I,
crave for things
And then I,
look for you
And if I,
look for you
Won't you then,
come around again

Sometimes I,
miss you loads
And then I,
wish for you
And if I,
wished for you
Won't you then,
be there for me

Sometimes I,
keep on wishing
And then I,
wish you hear
And if I,
wish for you
Won't you then,
listen to me

Sometimes I,
scratch endless words
And then I,
expect some piece of your words
And if I,
expect a piece from you
Won't you then,
do a favor to me

Sometimes I,
mumble a lot
And then I,
wish you hear my mumblings'
And If I,
wish you to hear
Won't you then,
hear and respond

Sometimes I,
keep on waiting
And then I,
wish my waitings end
And if I,
wish my waitings to end
Won't you then,
listen this much at all

Metta !!
Image courtesy: Popoks @deviantart

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

October !

I sit at my table and stare at this screen as I start writing something bizarre. To be honest, I don't like *Octobers'*. October for me is like that unsung song which I sometimes feel would not have been sung at all.

A question strikes me time and then, "What would have happened if this month had not existed in the calender of our lives?" Had the happenings that happened in this month had not happened??"

It is said that "होनी को कौन टाल सक्ता हे". For me I still wish had the happenings un-happened.

I have some unwonted wishes and I wish at a point in my life they be fulfilled. One of them is still my wishing for *October* to not come in my life. After every September, I call upon November or any other month but not October.

~Only if wishes were heard~.

Metta !!

Monday, October 13, 2014

Saturday, September 27, 2014

उडानको आधार

त्यो दिन हाम्रो भेट भएको पहिलो पटक थियो।

"के जानेकी छ्यौ," उसले सोध्यो।

"शब्दहरु खेलाउन जानेकी छु। यहि नै हो एउटा विशेषता," मैले भनि दिए।

उ एकैछिन मुस्कुरायो। अनि फेरी भन्यो, "शब्द संग  निकै  प्रेम छ जस्तो छ नि.… " उसले अरु केहि भन्नु अघि म फेरी बोल्न पुगें, "शब्द खेति नै हो जसले हामीलाई जोडेको छ , मल-जल पायो भने सम्बन्ध हरहराउँछ नभए येतिकै सुक्दै जान्छ बालक बबुरो। "

उ मुक्त कण्ठले हाँस्यो,"वास्तवमा नै जानेकी छ्यौ तिमीले शब्द खेलाउन।"

एक छिन कोहि केहि बोलेनौ।  ऊ नि सोच्न थालेँ जस्तो गरि बस्यो।  म नि चुप लागेर बसेँ।

"हो यसरि नै आफुलाई उड्न दिईरहनु।  अनन्त आकाश छ, रोक्ने हैन यी शब्द रुपी तिम्रा पखेटाहरुलाई। उड्न देउ, बग्न देउ।"

"रिचार्ड बेकको 'जोनाथन लिविङ्ग्स्टोन सी गल' पढेकी छ्यौ नि ?" उसले अचानक सोध्यो।

"छु," मैले संक्षिप्त उत्तर दिए।

"हो त्यो सी गलले जस्तै आफुलाई परिधिमा नबांधी अनन्त आकाशमा उड्नको लागि छाडी देउ। रमाइलो छ संसार। बस आफुलाई अनन्त उडान प्रदान गर," उ त्यहि लयमा भन्दै गयो।

म चुप लागेर उसको  कुराहरु सुनी रहेकि थिए।  चिया आइसकेको थियो हामी माझ।

त्यो चियाको चुस्की लिई म एकैछिन हराएँकि जस्ति भएँ। टाढा आकाशमा त्यहि सी गल नै उडेको देखेको जस्तो लाग्यो।  अचानक आ-आफै मुस्काउन थालेछु म।  उ अचम्म मानि मलाइ हेरी राखेको थियो।

इति !
चित्र: वेब बाट !

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Tale of the two worlds

She was busy wording her thoughts on the laptop, when a message popped up on the screen.

“Hey, how you doing?” was there on the notification bar. It was a brief call from him. A smile flaunted on her lips.

“I am doing good,” was her say.

“You seem lost ! Is everything okay?” was the question again.

“Yeah, all’s good,” she said.

In these two sentences, there belied a deep silence from both the ends. 

Nobody spoke.

She tried to gather back her thoughts and put them into wordings again but she was being captured by his thoughts. 

He-was her best friend, the friend she always looked upon. They didn't need to be talking through words to express themselves; even silence did the wonder all the time. They were that close.

But the silence that rose in few of those words was making her feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable as those clouds she could see from her window that wanted to burst down as rain, but could not.

She picked up her phone, dialed his number. She found herself wordless, so cut off the phone. 

“He should be busy,’ she mumbled to herself.

The clouds had started thundering. Drizzles seem to downpour. 

She ran outdoors to collect the half-dried clothes. She was fast, yet rain was faster. She got drenched. Drenched whole her body. Looked up in the sky and let her soak the more.

Metta !
Image courtesy: Web